it was like his penis was on wheels.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
