i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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