So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize