Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
