just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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