This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
smell my finger.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
