just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I AM VODKA MAN
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
