Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize