Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She even gives head with a lisp.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
