that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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