He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
