with your own penis?
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
it's like heaven, but drunker
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
