I heard we made out
On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
