some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
