Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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