if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
