I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
