Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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