I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Randomize
