your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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