I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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