I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
