i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
