Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
