I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
