she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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