is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
