holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
