that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
