There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The dick lei will go down in squad history
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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