Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
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