I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize