I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
