I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Randomize
