I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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