There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
he fucked my hip out of place.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
