so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
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