Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
