How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
