I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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