That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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