I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
