Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
