Can i not drive my cunt home
I CAN MOONWALK!
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
