He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
