she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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