my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
