weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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