So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
