She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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