Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
