I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
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