True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
