And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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