You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
