She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
