so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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