dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
