i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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